A Goodbye To My Last Great

Perhaps, I was loved so much because of the natural instincts you had. Perhaps, you knew what you did right with your kids and grandkids and were adamant to do it right again. Perhaps, it was because your blood runs through my veins. Regardless of why, you were one of a kind. You were irreplaceable. You were not only a great by family generation, but by definition, my definition, family’s definition, and friends definition.

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I want one more time; one more time for absolutely everything, Grandma. One more time to laugh with you, Grandma. I would even love to cry with you one more time, Grandma. I would give anything to watch jeopardy and family feud with you for one more night, Grandma. I’ll make your bed for you one more time, Grandma, you can even correct me and tell me i’m doing it the wrong way, Grandma. I’ll warm up your coffee for the 9th time, Grandma. I’ll make sure the front door is locked for the 12th time, Grandma. Can you tell me just one more secret, Grandma. Can I walk into your front door and see you holding your bible close one more time, Grandma? Oh please, Grandma.

Can you please tell me stories again, Grandma? Stories about the people I know hurt you but you love with your whole heart, Grandma. Can I sit and listen in amazement of your love and forgiveness, Grandma. Can you call me weird names, Grandma. Can I tease you, Grandma? I know I can’t Grandma….but I wish I could.

I turned my signal on to give you a hug Thursday, Grandma, but I didn’t turn, and I really wish I did today, Grandma. I went home though, I thought about you when I walked in my room and my bed was a sloppy mess, sorry Grandma. I tucked into our quilt last night, extra tight, I was really cold. I fell asleep at 11:40 not knowing part of my blood-line wasn’t here anymore, I love you Grandma. 1-IMG_0454.CR2.jpg

So many people call you grandma, it’s who you were, but I have the privilege to have your blood running through me. Along with it your stubbornness and determination have been handed down for generations. I danced around in the kitchen today, Grandma; and I knew you’re dancing too. Thank you for the lessons you taught me, and your wise words; Your unconditional love and forgiveness lives on, Grandma.

I will never forget you scaring me to death as you ran from one end of your living room to the other as you showed off your new walker. It’s a hard day, but even when I start to cry I can’t help but smile some too because I know you’re so happy.

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I promised you when this day came I wouldn’t let it get me too down and as you dance in heaven I’d be dancing here on earth as much as my heart could stand. I’ll keep my promise Grandma. I’m dancing with you. Have fun praising the Lord in His kingdom, Grandma. I can’t wait to join you, but for now I’ll be wrapped in our quilt praying to learn to be even a percentage of the woman you were.

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I love you, Grandma.

Goodbye for now.

~Your Pleasantly Plump Grandaughter

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