The Unmaking

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If the tide is going down, it was up. If the sun is rising, it had set. If it is getting warmer, it got colder. If the bed is being made, it was first unmade. If the lights come on, they went off. If the glass is being filled, it was empty. If you’re running down the hill, you had to go up. If you are being made, you had to go through the unmaking. The breaking. The splitting. The anguish. The confusion. The anger. The hurt. The upset. The overthrow of what you once were.

Being unmade is painful, everything you’ve fought to be can get thrown down the drain. Your dreams. Your aspirations. Gone. God unmade me. I yelled at him for it, over, over, and over. “I’m drowning! Do you not see how much it hurts?!” I yelled it in my car. I mumbled it through tears. I screamed it into pillows. I stomped it out on runs. Where’s the healing? Where’s the hope? Where’s the rescue? Where’s my rescue?

To be rescued, you must first be in danger.

He wanted to unmake me. He wanted to break me. He wanted to release rain on my world and drown who I was. He wanted to strip away everything I held onto. He wanted me to abandon everything I built my life on. He wanted me to chase Jesus and not Heaven. He wanted me to give Him everything. He wanted every ounce of me. He wanted every word. He wanted every thought. He wanted every laugh. He wanted every tear. He wanted..it all.

 How could a good God break me like this? How does He do this to us?  The pain. The anguish. Why does He allow it? As the waters rose on my world the opportunity to be rescued also did. He didn’t fight with my soul; He fought my flesh. He didn’t drown what He had instilled. He killed what I had planted. He didn’t break me; He broke the world off of me.

A shifting happened; what I once saw as ugly now brought a strange sense of excitement. Something was happening. Something was being born. Something was growing. Something was changing. If you were unmade, it was for a reason. You will not be left there. He will remake you.

Maybe 2016 was your unmaking. Maybe 2017 will be your unmaking.

Regardless, do not forget…after you are unmade you will be remade.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” 1 Peter 5:10

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  1. I can never get enough of this beautiful soul.

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